As we head into the new year, I was wanting to share some reflections that came through in 2019. I feel like when there is something within, a lot of times it really can resonate or it's felt by the collective. This past year has been one of the most transformational years that I have ever experienced.
I'm going to rewind a little bit and talk about something I have never shared because I felt like I needed a lot of space to process. I actually tried to downplay this event because it was painful and I wanted to move on from it. Let’s rewind back to a year ago, it was actually on the winter solstice last December wrapping up the end of 2018 where I hit a bit of a wall, and by literally I mean I literally hit a car. It was a busy afternoon, a lot of people out on the road and I collided with someone else that was also very checked out. I take responsibility for not being fully present on my part, however the other party was a very young driver doing something illegal and dangerous and I hit them with full impact while my son was in the car.
This is the very first accident that I have had in my entire driving history. My car was totaled and needless to say we were very shaken up. With that said, this was my wake-up that came at the end of last year, so to speak. Aside from emotional upset, we are just grateful that nobody was hurt. There were consequences and things that had to play out after the fact, but it just basically ended up being a bit of an annoyance more than anything that was a major crisis or trauma.
Shortly thereafter, in reflecting and really healing from the impact of that vibration, I started to sense that going into 2019 was going to be very different, that I was asked to be paying attention in a completely different way. It really was a pivotal point in my entire life.
There were big energies that went into that and it happened on the solstice, a time we are really entering a new direction of energy. We're honoring the duality of light and darkness, the high and the low. The cycles of life are right there intensified in that moment. This was setting the tone to really wake up and pay attention in 2019 and I had the opportunity from that experience to take a step back. When something like that happens you get some perspective in a different way. It is all these feelings of intensity of, "What if? Oh my God." All the things that come in when you have something happen like an accident. This felt like that was just really a symbol, thankfully, that was not the main lesson or the main issue that was going to linger. This was more of a, "Okay, I'm awake now. I'm paying attention."
From what I have seen and heard 2019 was really a deeply transformational year for so many. It was a year of surrender that anything that was out of alignment had to go, and this happened in somewhat abrupt ways. There was a massive clearing out for anything that was not supposed to be currently, or was in our path that was not in our most authentic expression.
This was a major opportunity for me to continue the path that I had been on for the few years even before 2019, to strengthen my nervous system, to be able to take in more light and to be able to get really clear on what was disruptive in my energy field. It was like I had gotten down to really a foundational level of what my soul agreed to come here in this life to do. Things I was so sure of and so anchored in, I suddenly found myself awake in a completely different way. My perspective was different. I had merged into a different level of consciousness that required me to take stock and make some different decisions, create different boundaries, create different agreements. Often this change is extremely challenging to face.
When you're going through something uncomfortable, you may put a timeline on when it will end. However, the energetics really kicked in with the powerful eclipses that are still actually in play through January 2020 and into this whole year of 2020. There's really powerful energetics going on. These energy portals are like eclipses. They make space. They allow us to examine and eject anything that is not in energetic alignment for us.
Although I was experiencing intense physical and emotional weight in my body, it was on a different level. I knew that my next chapter could not be forced, there is no timeline for alignment. I had then found a deep surrender that I had never experienced before. I think that I was in a different conscious state to process this. What this was about was honoring my body, what felt good to me. It was about finding what was not draining in terms of any extra exertion in anything that just felt hard. They were not serving me any longer and this disconnect was about some deep things like shedding these old identities that were literally blocking my upgrade. I had to cultivate this willingness to let it all go, literally surrender it all.
Surrendering to the creative process has been life-changing for me. I invite you to lean into the surrender. Perhaps a willingness to do things differently and take responsibility on a completely different level than you ever have before, moving into this 2020 may help get you to that place of taking loving responsibility for what has not come through in the way that you had hoped.
I don't think the next year is going to necessarily be any easier. It's going to continue to call us out and ask us to put all our cards out on the table. It is going to ask us to examine what we really need to release so you can light up with these massive energies and ascend to a higher level of consciousness in 2020.
What do you need to continue or to release to really embrace that flow? Are there shifts within your structures, within your systems, within how you're supporting yourself and how you're asking for support? What is going to make you feel so happy and light and energized, and allow you to bring forth the most potent expression of your authentic self?